Thursday, March 24, 2016

Beer Review: Uinta Brewing Biere de Mars & Clown Shoes The Entertainer

Biere de Mars French-Style Spring Ale & Clown Shoes The Entertainer

This just isn't your random craft beer review, my friends. Both of these beers have something to do with our favorite adult beverage of them all... WINE! Biere de Mars is a French-Style Spring Ale aged in Chardonnay barrels and The Entertainer is a Red Ale aged in Cabernet barrels. Queen Chard and King Cab are in my house! They're playing the music too loud and I don't have to go out! That was a  terrible reference to a song that's popular with the young people.


Uinta Brewing Biere de Mars"French-Style Spring Ale". I have no idea what the hell that fucking means. And guess what? I'm glad I don't! I actually think that's one of my favorite things about beer. Being knowledgeable on wine is both a passion of mine and my job. I also know quite a bit about spirits, being a certified specialist, but I'm honestly not even a fan of spirits. But I love beer and I know absolutely nothing about it, making enjoyment of the beverage much more light-hearted and less invested.

Uinta Brewing is out of Utah. The Biere de Mars is amber in color with lots of unfiltered, chunky floaties. On the nose the first thing I get is some hops. It's not a super-hoppy aroma like I feel like I'm about to drink a pine tree but it's there. I don't get Chardonnay specifically on the nose but there's a general white grape aroma, pears and caramel. The palate is malty and where you could specify that it was aged in Chardonnay barrels. There's flavors of bruised apple, caramel, toast, and musk. It finishes with bruised apple, spices and the hops kicks up quite a bit.

I really liked this beer but I think I would like it more if the finish was less hoppy. It's not even close to being IPA-hoppy but I just prefer my beer bready or malty rather than hoppy and not balanced out. Other than that, it's a damn fine beer that I would totally buy again.


Clown Shoes The EntertainerClown Shoes is one of my favorite breweries. The Billionaire Pierre was aged in Cognac barrels and, oh dear Lord, is that some awesome stuff. I really liked their Brown Angel but they decided to stop bottling it that way and instead use it to make The Barrista, a breakfast brown ale, which is so goddamn phenomenal I will smack you if you don't try to find it TODAY! Then there's the infamous Blaecorn Unidragon. Just please be careful when you ride the dragon.

Clown Shoes is also local (well, for me). The gentleman on The Entertainer label is Mr. Douglas, who apparently has a monkey named Nietzsche, entertains the streets of Boston and has visited the Clown Shoes brewery. And now I'm gonna have The Rolling Stone's "Monkey Man" stuck in my head all night. BAH-BAH-BAH BAHBAHBAHBAH-BAAAH! I'M A MONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYY-MAN!

It's got a dark carameled brown color. The nose has aromas of toasty oak, cherry candy and anise. Everything is looking like it's gonna be a pleasant experience and then... SON OF A BITCH IT TASTES INFUCKINGCREDIBLE! Outstanding hops balanced with super maltiness and strong alcohol (12% ABV) make this a wallop to the face! There's flavors of oak, cherry liqueur, anise and something that I can't put my finger on that reminds me of Tawny Port. I love it. I LOVE IT! And that's all that matters because chemical releases in the brain conquers all. This beer, for me, is a double dose of dopamine.

If I had to decide on my favorite style of beer I'd have to go with witbier, but barleywine would be a very close second. Anybody who is a barelywine fan would love this red ale. Clown Shoes makes me a happy dude once again.


  1. I do not want to chew my beer! I get unfiltered- have loved some unfiltered wine, but chunky!??? no!!!!

    1. LOL! It wasn't chewy! But there was a lot of big floaties.



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