The Harsh, Drunken Truth on Wine Trade Tastings

We like to think of grand wine tastings as classy events where the people in the trade gather to act all classy and taste the classiest form of alcohol. Lamb chops, bacon-wrapped scallops and stuffed mushrooms are delivered right to you as you peruse your options.

The truth is it's usually a room full of drunks being impatient because they can't get a pour at a packed table. The food part of the room is always fun to watch because that's where you really get to see how intoxicated one is. Lots of struggling to get food in the mouth.

At a trade tasting I recently attended I saw a few men clearly under the influence of alcohol purposely bump into or press up on highly attractive women and then act surprised like they didn't see them there. Scouts honor. "Oh, I'm sorry!" they said with a sleazy smile. Congratulations! You're a pig!

Back in May of this year a man driving home from a wine festival in Livermore, California killed a woman and her 14-month-old daughter, and injured two other children. The photos from the accident were absolutely horrific. That was a festival and I'm specifically talking about trade tastings, but this incident is the reality of what can come from these things.

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Wine Review: Matahiwi Estate Holly Wairarapa Pinot Gris 2012

I can hear you already: what the hell is going on here? What's up with all these strange names? Wairarapa is a winemaking region of New Zealand in the south-eastern-most part of the North Island, across the water from Marlborough. Matahiwi Estate is a family-owned winery in Wairarapa. Matahiwi produces several tiers: Mt Hector is their introductory level, the self-titled Matahiwi is their "premium range", and Holly is their limited production and reserve level.

I'm be reviewing four of their wines (hopefully), two at a time, and I've already done Matahiwi Estate Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2014 and Holly Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2013, and today I'll be tasting Holly Wairarapa Pinot Gris 2012 and (hopefully) Holly Wairarapa Pinot Noir 2013.

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Wine Review: Matahiwi Estate Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2014 & Holly Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2013

I can hear you already: what the hell is going on here? What's up with all these strange names? Wairarapa is a winemaking region of New Zealand in the south-eastern-most part of the North Island, across the water from Marlborough. Matahiwi Estate is a family-owned winery in Wairarapa. Sauvignon Blanc is a wine grape, and 2013 and 2014 were years that you should probably remember. Unless you drank way too much Sauvignon Blanc, which is completely understandable.

Matahiwi produces several tiers: Mt Hector is their introductory level, the self-titled Matahiwi is their "premium range", and Holly is their limited production and reserve level.

I'll be reviewing four of their wines, two at a time. Today I'm doing Matahiwi Estate Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2014 and Holly Wairarapa Sauvignon Blanc 2013. In another review I'll be tasting Holly Wairarapa Pinot Gris 2012 and (hopefully) Holly Wairarapa Pinot Noir 2013.

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Beer Review: Dogfish Head Brewery Chateau Jiahu & Theobroma

Patrick McGovern is an archaeologist and the scientific director at the University of Pennsylvania Museum's Bimolecular Archaeology Project. His personal specialty is finding alcohol in ancient sites. This isn't as easy as you would think because ethyl alcohol starts evaporating immediately, but you can use modern science and technology to find ingredients and put the pieces together. The presence of certain polyphenols and esters are indications of wine, while other organic molecules are indications of honey. You really need to know your chemistry.

When the tomb of King Midas was discovered, McGovern used the residue of a beer bowl to pin down what was used to make that beer: barley, honey and Muscat grapes fermented together. It was a common recipe back in those times because honey ferments quickly, grapes carry yeast on its skins and have antioxidants, while barley is high in nutrients. The mead-wine-beer hybrid was a brilliant way to avoid drinking unhealthy water, getting some useful substance in your stomach, and getting your buzz on.

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October Wine Pick: Landmark Vineyards Overlook 2013 Chardonnay

This WINE PICK of the month was written for the Luke's of Cape Cod website.

This month I'm going with one of my favorite Chardonnays. And I do realize that the picture says 2012 but this really is for the 2013.

Landmark Vineyards was founded in 1974 by Damarise Deere Ford, the great-great-granddaughter of John Deere. Yes, that John Deere. The inventor of the steel plow whose name is now on yellow and green lawnmowers or something. In 1989 they started growing in Sonoma Valley and a few years later they decided to focus solely on Chardonnay. They recently expanded their varietal options by one when they released a 2014 Pinot Noir.

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Wine Review: Villa Wolf 2014 Pinot Noir Rosé

German wines excite me. When there's a German table at a tasting that's usually the first table that I visit. German culture excites me and Germany is #1 on the list of places I need to visit before I die. Beer, brat and wine, baby! I would be living a life of gluttony the entire trip.

I'm also, as you should know by now, a big sucker for rosé so when I saw a German one I just had to have it. It's made from Pinot Noir, known as Spatburgunder over there.

Weingut J.L. Wolf is located in the Pfalz region (4 realz) and has been around since 1756, but the actual Villa wasn't built until 1843. It was successful as hell until the late 1900's when it started to drop off in quality and popularity due to lack of leadership and vision. Then our hero Ernst Loosen, you may recognize that name if you're a Riesling fan, bought it in 1996 and performed some hardcore CPR. It's still owned by Loosen but Patrick Moellendorf and Sumi Gebauer have managed the Villa since 2011 and have been doing a damn fine job bringing it back to the days of glory.

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YAAY! It's the weekend!

... said nobody that works at a liquor store. Ever.

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Wine Review: Villa Sandi Prosecco Brut

Prosecco is the most popular sparkling wine in the world, and the Prosecco region in Italy is having a hard time keeping up with demand. To learn more about Prosecco read A Bubbly Biography - The Story of Sparkling Wine - Part 2: Italy and The New World.

This is the second of a three part series of Brut Prosecco reviews. I'll be reviewing Bisol Jeio Prosecco Brut, Mionetto Prosecco Brut and Villa Sandi Prosecco Brut.

The incredibly stunning house of Villa Sandi was built in 1622 and, like the other Prosecco's in this series, is located in the Valdobbiadene. It's owned by the Moretti Polegato, who also have a long history of quality wine production. Like producers of Asti, Villa Sandi chills the unfermented must so it can be halted and then fermented on demand, guaranteeing that their shipments are the freshest of the fresh year-round.

I'm walking into this review kind of biased because I've always liked Villa Sandi's Brut Prosecco. Let's see if I still feel that way after six twists and a hiss.

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Wine Review: Mionetto Prosecco Brut

Prosecco is the most popular sparkling wine in the world, and the Prosecco region in Italy is having a hard time keeping up with demand. To learn more about Prosecco read A Bubbly Biography - The Story of Sparkling Wine - Part 2: Italy and The New World.

This is the second of a three part series of Brut Prosecco reviews. I'll be reviewing Bisol Jeio Prosecco Brut, Mionetto Prosecco Brut and Villa Sandi Prosecco Brut.

Like Bisol, Mionetto began in the village of Valdobbiadene. Francesco Mionetto started his winery in 1887 and eventually talked his two brothers into joining in on the fun. After they all went off to fight in the first World War, the winery sat there until Francesco's grandsons got their hands on it and started rebuilding in 1961. It's now ridiculously successful here in the United States.

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Wine Review: Bisol Jeio Brut Prosecco

Prosecco is the most popular sparkling wine in the world, and the Prosecco region in Italy is having a hard time keeping up with demand. To learn more about Prosecco read A Bubbly Biography - The Story of Sparkling - Wine Part 2: Italy and The New World.

This is the first of a three part series of Brut Prosecco reviews. I'll be reviewing Bisol Jeio Prosecco Brut, Mionetto Prosecco Brut and Villa Sandi Prosecco Brut.

Bisol Winery was founded in 1858 by a distiller named Eliseo Bisol, and it's one of the oldest in the village of Valdobbiadene, just north of Venice. This place has vineyards on infamously steep hills, so if you're looking to harvest some grapes in Valdobbiadene you're gonna have a bad time. That old "have a nice fall" joke must be severely overused there.

I'm feeling super snacky tonight so I'm making some popcorn the old-fashioned way. Prosecco and popcorn is exactly where I want to be right now.

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